I Felt It Through the Grapevines

Except this is not a pic of them because I couldn't find them haha

A walk through the grapevines.

It has become a healing kinda thang to do with my kids. Usually it is just a dawdle together for 10 minutes featuring “Can I go on your shoulders?” and “Look a butterfly!” but there is something about this little ritual that brings me back down, literally, to Earth with my kids.

This afternoon, Tansy, Raggedy Ann and I made our way though the vines.

It is picture perfect outside, blue sky, singing birds, butterflies (but only those boring white ones) and an abundance of feathers on the ground.

Most of the walk Tansy was up on my shoulders commentating. Good god, she can commentate. I guess I have myself to blame thank. I commentate and sing to her and now she does the same, from sun-up to sun-down. Cowboy and I have nicknamed her sing-song – her voice has a melody to it. She loves the outdoors, the feathers, the butterflies. Since having kids I really have fallen in love with these things again. A gift they have given to me is to be in the present and to find wonder in nature.

When I’m with them in the grapevines. I’m just as excited about a dragonfly or what the ants are carrying as they are.

I love that my innocence and wonder returns when I’m hanging with them.

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Much Ado About Nothing

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I’m forcing myself to blog because when I blogged daily I let stuff out more and felt better. So purely indulgent. Not sure if there is anything worth reading to follow. Will see what these here fingers punch out. It does beg the question, why don’ tI just write something and not put it on the internet if that is my intention. Hmmmm good point. But this is a special area for my records so whatever.

“More! More!” I hear you chant

“She cuts through to the heart with her epic writing”

“Strategic but heartfelt prose”

“Her opening paragraph will leave you gasping for more”

Ok now that is out of the system I shall see what else would like to come out of the system. My fingers seem to know more about what I think then my head. When I write the brain sends clearer messages to my fingers than to my thoughts. Not sure that makes sense.

Fingers: “Yes, makes perfect sense – keep it coming”

So, did some audio-walking today which was my idea influenced by the genius that is Pip Lincolne. Is there no end to her fresh ideas I sometimes wonder!

I think it is the way forward. Walking + listening to a book = wonderful.

I go the library a lot, and I’m laced with ambition. Piles upon piles of books come home with me, and then return to where they came, unread. But now, oh now. I exercise (which is novel – my body has been dormant for hmmm ages) and now I read a book while exercising. Well, it is read to me! How good is it.

I am actually motivated to move-it, move-it – and when I’m listening to an interesting bit it makes me go the extra mile! Literally! Literally, Literally. Get it?

Literaturely! Extra Mile! Oh god, I need to write more, so much crap is flowing from the fingers. But I gotta let it out. No-one is forcing you to read this.

What else was I going to tell you / myself/ the blog.

Well I love my dear friend Rosa, if she is reading this please know I appreciate you and hope you are having fun.

This evening the kids let loose with a hose and mud. It is, indeed winter – they were saturated with water – but they were also having THE MOST FUN I’ve ever witnessed. Laughing, loving, bonding – IN THE MOMENT. I could not let mess, the common cold or A THING stop this. I have been thinking about mortality a lot lately. Things have become quite dark in the world and as you get older you just think about it more don’t you.

Life really needs to be more moments like that. I had to look away and cringe. But they had fun.

I’m not sure what else I am going to say but Parenting from the Inside Out has been a great read (um listen) for me. There are a few things as a Mum that I’m not too keen on (ie- my own reactions to some things — patience, things that set you off but you are unsure why type stuff) and this is really helping me pay attention to these things. Change can only come from awareness. I recommend it for a listen slash read.

Going to M’s school tmrw for bookweek – have a sausage sizzle with him – thank god they don’t have dress up things like most other schools. Tmrw is PJs. He can just go straight to school in the morning. Too easy. I’ll add 15 minutes to sleep in the a.m

 

Was this honestly the most dribbly rubbish you’ve ever read? I do hope so. Top of the evening to you.

in all sincerity – if you did read – pls take a moment to say hello — I’ve missed the friendships that blogging delivered my way. Love to hear from you and what you’ve been up to.

 

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Learning To Live With The Spider In The Jar

 

 

Tonight I just lay in bed with him. Normally we read a book, well mostly Cowboy takes him to bed and they read, and add things up and draw 3D shapes.

But tonight I got to do the honors. Instead of continuing Enid Blyton’s The Wishing Chair – he wanted to do some drawing. “You really like drawing don’t you?”

“Like it? I absolutely love it!” he said.

So I sat in bed with him and he showed me different pictures he had already drawn. Mostly monsters, and ghosts oh and a Monster Truck.

Then he had pages where he had written lots of words and ‘ticked’ them off. I remember doing this as a kid too. Playing school.

As he showed me through his book – I really placed myself into the moment.

“This is my boy, showing me who he is” I thought to myself.

I made a conscious decision to not intervene, talk over him – but just to listen.

I noticed how cute his nose was and a couple of freckles on his face. I had never noticed freckles there before.

He drew me a picture of a castle with a bat and a vampire on top.

He  told me it was Science Day at school today, he regretted looking into one of the glass jars because it had a spider in it, and he thought the spider would visit his dreams.

“Even if I try really hard not to think about it – it still won’t go away”

I thought this was a good opportunity to talk about the fact we all have a spider that won’t go away. Sometimes the more we try and make the spider goes away, the bigger and creepier it gets – the more it demands our attention.

I told him something I have only just learnt and wish someone taught me at 5.

“There is no point trying to make the spider go away – just acknowledge it. “Hey Spider” if he wants to hang around , let him hang around.”

I then encouraged him to take some mind-photos of all the happy places and things he knows.

“Where is your favorite place to be?”

He went through – home, Pop and Noon’s, Tumbarumba – I asked him to think of something that made him laugh and he said “When Tansy dances!”

He had fun taking photos of all these memories in his mind.   I told him to keep adding to that file everytime something good happens – to take a mind-pic and add it to the files. It won’t make the spider go away, but it will help you see that although there is a creepy spider it is way outnumbered by awesome stuff!

Yes, I took notes for myself as my inner Swami made a spontaneous appearance.

Most of the time as a parent I feel I’m doing it wrong (aren’t we all) I have no idea if what we talked about tonight stuck – but I really hope it did.

It was more than just a speech, the last week we have been talking about things we are grateful for at dinner. I think this is so important. Stockpiling the joy to keep the spider in the jar at bay.

I’m listening to an audiobook ‘Parenting from the Inside Out” — it has really made me realise how important it is for me to write about these experiences, reflect and make sense of interactions. So, that is why I blogged again today.

 

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Sunshine On A Cloudy Day

Her beautiful little sing-song voice makes me smile my biggest smile. When she rubs my leg and says “Good Boy Mum” (ha) I nearly die of love. Everyone who meets her says, “Oh, she doesn’t smile much” or “Are you shy?” Yes, she freezes and drops her head and looks to the ground when anybody (outside family) talks and to her – and people just don’t believe me when I say that she is a MAJOR chatterbox, with the cutest sing-song voice. Not yet two, but already I can see a kind, loving nature — she seems to sense when I’m off and knows just what to do.

I squeezed into a pair of jeans the other day, digruntled by the squeeze part – she came up and patted my leg (as she does) “They look fan tas tic” she says. It never ceases to amaze me the language she uses. “Your hair is beautiful Mum”  can you see why I am smitten? She is a natural born charmer who seems to see the beauty in me, that I have trouble finding.  They say even from birth you can see elements of a person’s true soul — and Tansy’s is extremely gentle, sensitive, caring, kind, and she has a great sense of humor. “Mum, I did a Ra!” (and then laughs) Or when we walk down the driveway to collect Monte from the bus “Let’s be dinosaurs” — and so, we do.

She loves to play with Monte “Come get me!” and “Put music on Mum” so she can cut sick around and around and around the loungeroom “Spin me Mum” and I am such a fool for her. Can’t say NO to anything. She has that way. I spend my days crawling like a cat, rolling on the floor, dancing to the Wiggles, or getting under blankets. It is very grounding, and good for the soul to unleash this child part inside, and Tansy helps me let mine out perfectly.

She knows what she will and will not wear. She loves animals. Dogs and cats her favorite. We reminisce often about the zoo. The meer cats, the rhinos, the hippo “Did really big poo!” she recalls — learning this memory from her brother.

She adores Monte and must take “school bag” when we drop him to school, also, she must cart a number of toys into the school too. Then, as if I have a zillion children, I buckle them all into their seatbelts. I hear the words “You’ll make a rod for your back!” coming from somewhere, but – yes I even stopped the car once to fix Miss Mouse’s belt and make sure the doggy was comfortable.They come with us for coffee too.

My love for her has no limits. She is such a beautiful soul. I had to write something down as we lead up to her second birthday. I didn’t want to ever forget what she was like at this magical age where we can have little chats and understand each other. But we’ve always understood each other. Right from the get-go. And I’m loving that.

 

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Is This Thing On? Two, Two

I have a pressing urge to blog, create, share. I am not sure if I should try and revamp this ol’ Sharnanigans or start a new website all together. I am reminded of my own catchphrase about the grass being greener where I water it. Should I just give THIS space some watering or start afresh? I feel a bit meh about here, want to go in a new direction. I want to share arty things, funny things, inspiring people and my own memoirs. What should I do?

ps: While I am here let me tell you that this morning as we walked Mont to the bus-stop he gave Tansy a cuddle and she said “I love you Mont” as he got on the bus. Next to the rainy puddle with gumnuts in it, was my heart officially melted.

Here are some recent pics:

 

Monte's amazing penguin that he received a merit card for! Proud!

 

Lovely girl hanging outside

 

Things I am looking forward to:

Doing creativity inspiration course with Pip alongside my friend Rosa who I met on Pinterest. How new-age huh! Love her style and inspired by her always, so this makes sense!

Having a crack (literally) at Yoga at home

Just being creative — I have an urge to paint, create, learn all of a sudden. Is the Sun in Jupiter?

How are you?

What should I do with my blog – revamp? Start a new one?

What do you want to read about from me? Probably not all about me…… what about if I wrote about other things? How very, very novel.

Hello? Is it me you’re looking for?

 

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