A week or so after the refreshing and rather liberating “Bloggers without Make-up” day, I am disheartened to read a post by one of the participants and the support that followed, for doing the very thing that bloggers without makeup took a stand against.
Making a judgment on another woman for superficial reasons.
For the uninitiated, on May 14th a bunch of bloggers posted a makeup-less photograph on their blogs. A stance to provide an example to our children that is OK to be who we are, keeping it real, not being ashamed of who we are and not needing to wear a mask to face the world.
The day was created by Jodie from Mummy Mayhem, she describes the reasoning behind the movement:
” It feels right to do this, and I’m so glad there are so many who want to get involved. What a great example we will be to our kids, and also to young girls who think they have to look like a magazine cover all the time. (You DON’T ladies! You are gorgeous as you are!)
I’m not going to quit the more glam shots all together. I just figured, why should we be afraid to show our true selves?
As a new Mum and somebody who has suffered, like many women, by the pressure of looking a certain way I found this movement both refreshing and liberating.
It felt as though every day women were making a stand to declare that our beauty is in who we are and has nada to do with what we look like.
Halle-bloody-lujah!
As naked faces emerged throughout the blogosphere a wave of support and sisterhood ensued.
People left comments on each others blogs spouting how gorgeous and radiant and lovely and enter your choice of superlative here.
It was warm and fuzzy and there was a glimmer of hope for the future.
Different women interpreted the day in different ways and there was certainly a lot of inspiration radiating from computer screens.
Take for example Quixotic ‘s view:
‘I’m hoping that through my example (and tireless brainwashing) GG (her daughter) will realise that you don’t need a layer of makeup to face the world, and certainly not some beauty product with it’s ridiculous pseudo-scientific and completely bogus claims to be beautiful.
You just need to be healthy, confident that you are more than your looks, happy with who you are as a person, and your inner beauty will shine through.
Inspiring comments like this followed by naked faced photos were popping up everywhere.
Brenda from Mummytime put together this great little slide show of the naked faces here.
More warm and fuzzies all round.
Another blogger Taryn wrote:
Sure Taryn, of course we are going to focus on your inner beauty — that is what this whole movement is about!
Just while we were all warmed and fuzzied by that, a week or so later the same woman writes this article about Terri Irwin’s pants:
Something has really been messing with my head lately.
Terri Irwin.
She has come back into my radar through those cake mix ads on television. They come on when Masterchef is on so I am bound to see it (because I am a Masterchef addict and can boast that I have not missed an episode yet).
She seems like a really nice lady. I am sure we could be good friends if our paths crossed but they are very unlikely to.
Terri Irwin has always worn her pants up very high. I find myself on numerous occasions wondering… WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THAT.
High pants (hello 80′s) make your bum look huge. Which is a shame for Terri because she is not a big lady. I am not sure what it is that makes her want to wear fashion from 30 years ago but it has got to stop before I go batshit crazy with frustration
Pardon?
You can imagine my surprise when the first commenter on Taryn’s post was made by Jodie from Mummy Mayhem the INSTIGATOR of Bloggers without Makeup!
Yeah, she’s a little daggy.
I remember resisting my first pair of low-waisted jeans. Now? Can’t imagine going back to the high-waisted ones!
BTW – I was looking thru the latest OK mag yesterday – should have seen all the “jeggings” in there! Hahaha..
Not only Jodie, but a mass of other women who had taken off their makeup also jumped on this bandwagon and put their two cents in about Terri Irwin.
This comment from ohohbaby:
In this day and age, anyone in the public eye like that needs to be brought into this century (at the very least) because she’s a roll (role) model. I understand she’s a single Mum with two kids (sounds like the Dove commercial), actually, she’s a widow, but she should still take pride in the way she conveys herself in public.
How do these women who supported the bloggers without makeup cause feel justified to gossip like teenagers about another woman’s choice of clothing?
I know that the world is rampant with fashion commentators who make a living out of such comments, but I thought that Blogging without Makeup was all about keeping it real, and looking beyond these things…?
Kristin from Wanderlust captured the beauty and essence of what the day was trying to achieve here, and it made me feel hopeful.
Then after reading the Terri Irwin type blog posts I feel some people have taken one step forward and then two steps back.
I made a comment to this effect on the blog, as did a couple of other women.
Comments flowed in about how it was all in fun and that we should ‘lighten up’.
On the surface to some, this post might seem like ‘a bit of fun’ – but I see it differently.
Disguised in easy humor, the act of bagging another for their clothing choice is destructive to the plight of women everywhere.
It is NOT sending out a message to your children that you accept fellow human beings ‘as they are’. Quite the opposite.
Isn’t this what Blogging Without Make-up attempted to take a stand against?
Shouldn’t Terri have the right to show her real self without criticism?
I wonder if she would see the post and the comments as light and fun?
Keeping it real and seeing the inner beauty in our sisters should extend beyond one day.
Terri Irwin should be the poster girl of a woman with integrity!
She is an environmentalist, a Mother, a widow – she is passionate about what she does.
She is a high profile woman whose emphasis is on something more important than what she looks like.
She should be celebrated, not mocked.
You can take your makeup off and take a picture and feel as though you are doing something positive for women – but Big Whoop!
It is not going to count for a pinch until you start practicing what you preach.
If you really want to set a great example for your children how about moving on from Year 9 style gossiping and look beyond the threads.
81 Comments
Thank you so much for bringing my attention to this. I’m guilty of judging on fickle topics like this, and passing it off as nothing. I’ve never really thought about the aftermath, and what I’m really doing.
One thing isn’t different to the other really…
Thanks. I’m going to try to be mindful from now on. x
Nice to see you here Chantelle, glad that my post helped bring this to your attention.
You make some really good points here Sharni- I have my own opinions about why women judge each other so harshly – I think if we really thought about the effects of it we wouldn’t do it at all. I recently read an article by Definatalie on her blog (http://networkedblogs.com/3qXsa) that deals with this issue so eloquently that I am quoting her here in my comment:
“I reject the beauty ideal. I reject the idea of the “flattering outfit”. I reject the gender binary. I reject being ladylike. These standards are not nobel things to uphold – they trap us, and constrict us. They push us into target markets so we can be sold things more easily. And while I can say with 150% gusto that I reject these things, I can’t help but toe the line sometimes without even realising. Societal conditioning is that strong, it’s that pervasive.
So when someone makes fun of me for: being fat, wearing “unflattering” clothes, looking like a man, being a bitch, having acne, not being polite or gracious, wearing too little perfume, wearing too much perfume, having gunk in my eye, wearing a t-shirt that shows my belly when I raise my arm, perspiring a lot or laughing too loudly… It’s totally personal, but then again, it totally isn’t. We all have a variety of unique and personal characteristics, and they might read a little differently depending on where you live, what you look like, how much you earn, the colour of your skin or what gender you are, but at the end of the day those criticisms are about hemming you in and disempowering you. I can’t even get angry at people who insult me anymore because I know most of us are conditioned to think this way. ”
Natalie’s picture was recently put up on a Facebook site as an example of women who should not wear skinny jeans- you can read her post about it in full at the above link.
Thanks for opening up the discussion a bit more here Sharni- I think it’s important that we delve a little deeper into why we disempower each other with our judgements.
Thanks for linking to Definatalie – she makes excellent points, as do you Heather.
Well said Sharni ;)
Nice one Sharni, I agree with you totally and I think it’s a very important message, which is why I love the philosophy behind http://www.operationbeautiful.com so much. I feel so sad that women judge each other so harshly when we should be a sisterhood, supporting each other and encouraging each other to do wonderful things.
And Amen to Heather (who I think is my new personal hero!) :)
Operation Beautiful is fantastic! Thanks for introducing me to it Nikki.
Sharni…you know I love your blog, adventures and misadventures…but this was spot on. When it is a movement, people jump on a band wagon…but oh you reminded the mob, they can be a mob.
HURRAH for High waisted pants…for mini-skirts for down on the floor dresses…for what-ever the hell you want to wear.
Ladies be you! If you feel comfortable walking around in your knickers all day and not shaving your legs…forget the stink-eyes!
Easy to critique and hard to praise. So in a way I have gone around and looked for things to champion around the world because that is in my heart…and some people are down right SHOCKED. Good. Wake up, it is a one time ride and such a petty thing to be so wrapped up in our judgmental comparisons…our powder room politics about the exterior which boils down to competitions for men…for sex.
Call it what you will…but we ladies hold ourselves back every generation.
DON”T WE REALIZE WHO WE ARE? Of all of the systems that men have created (yes MEN) they have completely failed….every bloody last one of them.
Women rule the home…and family…trust me, it is true…and it is the only system that lasts…and anyone can make up a family….
Simple…where there is love it lasts. Where there is hate or self interest it destroys.
So ladies, become co-creators in this world…and it starts with us…stop giving the ‘stink eye’ to each other.
And send a lovely note to Terri Irwin…she is who she is…commercials or not..she has gone through a lot.
Good on you Marilyn, thanks for your comments.
I totally see where you are coming from, but have to admit I did enjoy Taryn’s post and didn’t find it offensive or hypocritical for two reasons: Firstly, if you read any of the posts on Taryn’s blog, you can almost guarantee that she will be taking the piss out of something- she seems like a really funny woman who doesn’t take life too seriously. Secondly, it was intended to be light hearted, and if you pick up any magazine, there are fashion faux pas’ all over the shop, published to provide us with some light entertainment.
That being said, I do understand your point of view and how a post like that might be
misconstrued as bitchiness. And while I do agree that we, as women, should be focussing on inner beauty rather than appearances, I think the Terri post created a lot more drama than it should have. Taryn wasn’t ripping on
Terri as a person AT ALL- she just isn’t a fan of her pants! Whilst we shouldn’t judge others, we also shouldn’t lose our sense of humour. But I understand that it’s a fine, fine line!
PS Let me just add that I LOVE both your blog, as well as Taryn’s blog. Not taking sides, just voicing my opinion on the issue at hand :)
Thanks for your views Jane , it is a fine line.
Hey sweetie, I agree with you totally. I have been thinking about this sort of thing recently, mainly because I’m working on a chapter of my book that is about ego. Many people think that ego is all about flash cars and being self important. But ego comes in a variety of nasty guises. One of them being the mockery of others to benefit or boost our own self esteem. indeed taking a ‘lighthearted approach’ to mockery is just another way of justifying it and in turn justifying our own egos.
Bitching about another person, no matter how lighthearted it may be is never the right thing to do. It’s a low blow and is too easy to be particularly thought out or intelligent. As humans we have been bitching about each other based on looks or ‘ways of being’ for centuries. It never leads to any good think playground bullying, eating disorders, apartheid, world war 2…
If those women were all in an office having that same conversation and Terri overheard, then she would be gutted I am sure. Not necessarily because she made a ‘bad’ fashion choice. But because people who claim to respect her, are having a great whopping bitch fest at her expense.
A little bit of love and total respect, across the board would be nice. If we can see our own beauty that comes from within, then WE MUST respect that same beauty and spark of spirit in every other human being! That means no bitching and bullying – ever!
Great comments Alice – thanks
Love the conviction behind all that you do, I so respect that !
I even went Naked Blog ( not that I wear make up lol ) with this one.
Great Blog and powerful argument.
Cheers Andrew! Love to see you without makeup for a change haha
Hey Sharni- so brave of you to tell people what you think!
A agree with you. :-)
I guess it’s also a good reminder about our integrity as well-> particular because as bloggers, everything we ‘say’ is recorded!!
Thanks Talia. I almost said nothing, but felt passionate about this.
Not sure why my earlier comment didn’t publish, but I would like to add that to all those who say, “Oh, lighten up, it’s just harmless fashion-y fun”, okay, how would you feel if you overheard a group of people who didn’t even know you mock you? For something as petty as the clothes yo put on that day? And not be given the right to speak up for yourself? Would it be just as “entertaining” then?
Personally, I prefer to get my entertainment not at the expense of someone else…
Earlier comment didn’t come through??
Wow, I guess I missed the whole scene…taking off your make-up, pants too high, pants too low…no pants…no make-up…man..woman..role playing…this that the other…To tell you quite honestly, I don’t think much about these things. Does all of this really make a big difference in the world? What you wear or don’t wear…is it that important?
I agree in many ways Katherine. I didn’t feel compelled to join the whole bloggers without make-up thing as I didn’t really ‘get’ it. Some days I wear make up, most days I don’t so it’s not something I feel that’s important to me or something I needed to make a statement with. I understand that it is important to others. Rather than coming out and saying that I kept my gob shut and let others express something that meant something to them.
In regards to highwaisted pants aren’t they in fashion again anyway?? They are in inner Sydney. I mean really, who cares?
But we are all guilty of judging others. I recently wrote a post about how I was horrified my male hairdresser revealed he’d had a perm while he was highlighting my hair. Double standard much?
I try to keep a lid on it and remind myself of what’s important. I do wish that someone’s pants were as bad as my ire gets.
I understand we have all at one point or another been guilty of judging others for superficial reasons. I raise my hand for having done it. As I get older the more I see how absolutely ridiculous it is!
The point of my article is that if we are going to take a stand against something then we need to walk the walk.
The Bloggers without Makeup Day was a pivotal day for women, it encouraged us to have the confidence to not be afraid of revealing our real selves to the world – it was inspiring.
I felt disheartened reading the blog post about something as crazy as another woman’s pants – who cares is exactly my point.
It seems we will always judge others by superficial standards , as Heather pointed out – we are conditioned , by the media , our peers, a lot of things.
My belief is that if we are mindful enough we can uncondition ourselves. It is easy to say “We can’t help it, it is in the magazines, it is what everyone does” but change starts with individuals being mindful.
– I thought Bloggers Without Makeup Day was one action people were taking towards this, and you know what for the majority it probably was.
Firstly apologies for my poorly written comment, I have had an exceptionally bad 24 hours and what was in my head hasn’t translated to the page very well.
Let me try and write it a little more coherently again.
For me, the Bloggers without Makeup didn’t really resonate with me. I don’t really know why but perhaps it’s because I’m happy to be ‘bare’ anywhere, anytime. At this stage in my life, I’m actually not thinking about my shell that much, only really going as far to wear clothes that I feel are comfortable and ‘me’. I’ve reached an age or a stage or something where, to be honest, my appearance and it’s impact on others is not a big concern to me.
I understand that the Bloggers without Makeup thing resonated and was important to a lot of people, it just didn’t to me that is why I kept quiet and didn’t participate in any aspect of it. [When I said I kept my gob shut, I didn't mean that I thought you should too, it was my way of not myself insensitively saying 'Why would you do that?' on someone's sincere post].
I also agree, if you are going to come out and take a stand then make sure you really take a stand.
By saying I had been guilty of judging people’s appearances wasn’t my way of trying to brush off what had been written by Tarryn. It was me reminding myself that while I may spout about being non-superficial, I actually have been and quite recently too. Though for me I wrote that blog post as a light-hearted way to remind myself not judge people by their appearances. I guess I didn’t want to appear as a great big hypocrite.
But I totally agree we do need to be mindful. It’s also helpful to have people remind us to be mindful. So I do applaud your post.
Does that make sense my head is still all over the place?
You are making sense Corinne :-) I think where you are at within yourself is the ultimate place to be.
I remember seeing a Converse add in my teens that read something along the lines of, “Karen and Jaime consider themselves open-minded, non-judgmental women…though they do agree that Brenda is a slut”. This post reminds me of that. I think we are all guilty of this sometimes. We have the ideal of who we want to be and what we want to stand for (such as the make-up freedom photos) but then each of us sometimes reverts to the cultural conditioning to which we have been prey our whole lives.
I agree that Taryn’s post about Terri Irwin was in contradiction with her standing up for the ideal of women being who they want to be. And I think that it doesn’t matter if it is meant in humour or in seriousness because it contributes culturally at the same level. It is perpetuating the ideal that it is OK for us to be who we want to be regardless of looks…as long as you look like me.
However, I am 100% sure that I have been guilty of this same mistake on many occasions. Then when someone (like Sharni in this case, but could be anyone at all) points it out to me I think “Oh shit. you are so right”. and I take a mental note to try to re-train myself a bit and to be a bit more mindful of my words and actions.
We would all like for our children to grow up in a better world where women don’t have this idea that we have to fight each other and usurp each other’s power, where having two pretty girls in the same room doesn’t mean they have to hate each other or where two girls can be top of the class without having to undermine each other’s intelligence.
Unfortunately, I think, there is always going to be someone we don’t like and feel the need to cut down. It doesn’t really matter if it is a problem with that person (or her pants!) or a problem with us because either way it undermines our end goal of supportive solidarity.
Hi Laura . great comments and the example of your advertisement rings so many truths, sadly! Retraining ourselves constantly is what its about, I agree
Great post, Sharni. As you know, when I’m not blogging I am helping women to look and feel their very best. At no stage in my consultations do I make them feel bad about the way they look and feel when they first come to me. They come to because they want a change for themselves and I am just the facilitator of that change. I don’t attempt to change their inner beauty – just help them to better show that to the world with greater confidence. I want everyone’s individual personalities to shine because that is truly when we see the beauty in others and refrain from judgement.
Yeah, hear hear! The Blogosphere is so bitchy sometimes, it feels like high school. Ido try and avoid the whole scene with awards and blog parties and tagging and the rest because I fear getting too involved in all that scene… I didn’t do bloggers without makeup for the same reason. Probably an over-reaction, but there’s a lot of nastiness out there. But then there’s also a niceness. I guess you’ve got to sift through it…
Some might think it light-hearted, but from experience…..sarcasm often doesn’t work online……it’s all in the voice! Regardless of the intentions of being harmless fun – the underlying message is still there and the double standard shines through. It’s a real shame to see this so soon after the amazing Bloggers without Makeup event. Way to confuse the message of valuing the inside over the out! Good on your for bringing light to this, I can’t imagine it easy given how relatively small the blogging world can be but it’s something we can all learn from. Establish your values and stick to them, don’t play with them…….
I think that the degree to which women are judgemental of other women is the degree to which they are judgemental of themselves. We are socialized as persons of surface, first and foremost – I think that to turn the tide, it takes one step at a time, and for the women bloggers without make-up – maybe that is one step they were able to make, with many more steps yet to go…its a process…not everything, not all wisdom comes all at once.
If I were Terri Irwin, I would wear those pants too!! Nobody wants to see G stringage when watching the feeding of the crocodiles (a particularly active sport) or selling cake mix on TV. I suggest Terri’s clothing is her choice of armour. There are more important things to focus on, like the handlers watching the crocs and not Terri’s wardrobe malfunction. Sharni, I am impressed that this irritated you enough to make you comment. Most would just let it fly and not even see the absolute hypocricy.
Wow Sharni you sure have started quite a discussion here. I’m with you – not that I’m not guilty of being critical at times, but to focus on something so trivial in a woman who has been through so much and done so much good, and is raising wonderful, confident children, is just plain short sighted. I know it was meant to be funny but I definitely wouldn’t find it funny if the comments were about how big MY arse looks in my pants! Terri Irwin is an amazing, determined, tough woman with grace and integrity, and she doesn’t give a toss about the height of her pants – her priorities are very much elsewhere. I’ve read her book “My Steve”, and from what I can tell, Terri Irwin has the kind of attitude towards other people that the “Bloggers without makeup” idea was trying to promote. She is the type of woman that this movement is encouraging us to be. And here are the central players in the movement, wasting time talking about her PANTS instead of her amazing kindness, strength and resilience. Silly girls!
Hi Sharni-Sorry if my comment sounded insincere. You know how much I love all that you do. I know it’s all about empowering woman to be who they are without make-up, but you are seriously shiny, with or without. I never really gave it much thought. Sometimes I wear it, sometimes I don’t…sometimes I get dressed up and sometimes I wear the same clothes for days straight. It’s all about what’s inside and though I’ve never met you in person, I know that you have so many wonderful things to share with this world and I’m happy I virtually *met* and got to know you out here on the internet (where actually it’s quite refreshing that we can’t see each other’s make-up or pants ^_^) Much love to you, Kathy
Right back at you Kathy – in whatever pants or makeup you may or may not wear!!
Terri Irwin (and indeed the whole Irwin mob) shit me to tears on a regular basis, but I can list about 6000 reasons far more to the point than her jeans, as unflattering as they are (and mums who have great figures should flaunt it – good on ya!)
Its hypocritical, yes. Disappointing, yeah. All too common? You bet. I even just did it myself in that above paragraph.
Women are our own worst enemies. Even now I’m feeling the urge to say that Terri was on TV and that all us laydeez would frock up/face on for that.
Its a shame we cant be happy for one anothers’ successes, achievements, abilities what-have-you without feeling the need to bitch.
Bitching and bitches have alot to answer for, and we have all been guilty of one or the other far too often. Thanks for the timely reminder!
Hi Sharni
I can see your point of view here. Some of the discussion on Taryn’s blog got a little judgmental. We are all guilty of judging someone at some stage. I’m sure you’ve judged in the past as well (which I think you mentioned above).
I don’t believe for a second though that it was Taryn’s intention to put down Terri. It was merely to question her choice fashion wise. I think what she was saying was that as there are so many who now wear low-waisted jeans, and Terri’s in the public eye, why hasn’t she also made the switch? (I’m not saying she should. I’m just saying I believe that was Taryn’s question.) I don’t believe, at all, that Taryn was trying to be malicious in her post.
One commenter on Taryn’s blog made a good point that Terri may not care and choose comfort over fashion. And of course, we all know that’s Terri choice, as does, I’m sure, Taryn. I think it was just an observation on Taryn’s behalf.
And you’re right – we do care too much about what other people are doing. Why do we?
I’m not going to defend my response to Taryn’s post. I will say though that often tone is hard to relay in the written sense. Perhaps a better choice of words would have been, “Yeah, [so] she’s a little daggy.” I thought it was obvious that I was actually likening myself to Terri.
Bloggers Without Makeup was about believing in yourself. It was about not *caring* what other people thought of you or how they judged you based on your profile pic on Twitter or your blog. It was about not being afraid to be yourself. It was about being the “real you”. I have a feeling Terri might think this way too, which is great. I have claimed, more than once, not to be a fashionista myself in any sense of the word. I do my own thing. Always have.
You bring a good point forward though about not judging others. I agree. I’m always trying to get better and better at not doing that! And therefore, I would just finally ask that you consider not judging Taryn, or the other commenters, based on that one post. I have followed many of them for a fair while now, and they seem very good people to me, who have always had a supportive and encouraging word for me in the past. I’m sure most of them would be quite upset to be shown in such a negative light here on your blog.
Perhaps Sharni, it is possible, that in defending what was written about Terri, you have managed to create a sort of negative, judgmental movement towards these other bloggers?
Perhaps, that was not your intention here. But I’m afraid, that may just be the case.
Food for thought no doubt.
Thanks for your comment Jodie. I am 100% sure Tarryn was not malicious in what she wrote, nor did she intend to cause the stir that she did. It was not my intention to create a negative movement towards these bloggers.
My intention was to highlight that it is easy to want to see change in women’s self-esteem and solidarity. but if we are going to talk the talk then we need to walk the walk.
Bagging others, unfortunately, is like a sport – it somehow became socially acceptable, the media thrives on it – fashion commentators make a living out of it. Putting others down seems to elevate us – surely we can get our kicks in a better way than this?
In lieu of the BWM movement, which I do still think was fantastic, I wanted to highlight that even though women were in alliance in theory, they were not necessarily in practice.
We still have a way to go in our plight, of course we do.
By writing this post I wanted to encourage women (and at the same time myself) to be mindful of how easy it is to have double standards.
I wanted to encourage women to think before they judged.
From the comments here already, in my own small way – I feel I have achieved that.
This has got to be a positive thing.
.
Woohoo Sharni, let if fly girl. Not simply a *Swami* Sharni afterall, but a brave, wise and thoughtful one….
(I’ll refrain from weighing any further into the raging debate as I am constantly slagging one thing or another off on my own blog – as if offending all those earnest netballers was not enough! )
I was not part of the whole pictures without make-up thing. In fact I didn’t even know about it until I read this post. Based on this post I would have to agree that if a group of bloggers banded together in support of loving ourselves the way we are, without make-up, then it is incredibly hypocritical of those same people to turn around and bash the individual fashion style of another woman. It doesn’t make sense and most certainly sends the exact opposite message than the pictures without make-up.
Well said. It took courage for you to write this.
From someone who doesn’t wear make-up and doesn’t have any fashion sense, thank you for writing about this.
It’s something we should all think more about.
Sharni!! You have got to stop doing this!
You and your friends who lift things from other people’s blogs without their knowledge is completely gutless. And completely for your own judgement. If you want to make the point, make it without using other people. It took me a long time to get over it when this happened to me. I thought you learned your lesson from that. STOP IT!!! It’s wrong, it’s cruel, you are being very very nasty.
Thea, I’m sorry you feel this way. I linked to all of the people I mentioned in my post so as to have the strength of my conviction and not be gutless.
Words like cruel and nasty about other people is what prompted me to write this piece.
There’s only one person blogging without integrity here.
Thea you and people like Taryn really need to get over it if you don’t want other people to comment on your ramblings then don’t put it on the world wide web. Not everyone is as narrow minded and without the strength of conviction as you seem to be. Only a matter of time before someone like you had to place a negative comment here.
That said what can I say another strong post from someone who is not afraid to put herself out there WELL DONE!!!
“You and people like Taryn”??
Way to over generalise, David King. I thought this was all meant to be about not judging people.
Thea,
Sharni is the self-appointed sheriff of blog-land. You may not cast judgement on others, only the sheriff can. Dur.
Humour is not tolerated or approved or acceptable as an excuse for blog posts that do not conform to the unpublished dogma of Shananigans.
Tremble and thankful if she does not cast her eye towards you again.
An Idle Dad
hahahaha , I like that.
What’s the old saying….”An idle dad is the devil’s workshop” ?
Don’t let the Sherriff’s Karma run over your Dogma
Hey Sharni
Great blog. Loved it. Contradiction is sadly, part of the human condition.
However, high waisted pants are coming back ladies, so watch out!
x
Kd
Wow, I’m just wading in to the debate and what a debate. In my blog I am sensitive to not using other people to make my blog “funny”, but goddamn, I bet if I audited all my posts I’m sure I’d be guilty. I felt that there were certain people who were off limits and some that were open targets (like my Sister who I thought could see the humour – she didn’t and I apologised, sheepishly). Blogging is such a weird world, some of us enjoy having an audience, and we scramble to hold onto our readers (admit it!!!!) and some readers enjoy how we scramble and shock to hold their attention for a few minutes.
Enough. I see the hypocrisy. I’m sure I must be guilty myself. However cruelty is not necessary, nor fair, nor even slightly funny. Lets learn our lesson people and move on, a little more wisely and cautiously.
Ah Sharni you have learnt a very big leason here – there are three kinds of people in this world:
1. Those that “get it”
2. Those that don’t, and
3. Those that pretend to “get it” but really are unable, for whatever reason, to sustain the facade.
The “get it” is authenticity. Real, unashamed authenticity. Not being swayed by the mob. Standing in your own shoes and being very happy and comfortable there.
It is is not about the pants, the fashion fad, the plight of Terri, nor the fickleness of women. It is about being true.
Well done my fabulous friend for not only being authentic and staying true to your beliefs but for being brave enough to open this debate. You understand what it means to be authentic, you “get it” and the bloggersphere is a whole lot richer for it.
Thanks very much Shelley.
So I guess you’re pretty happy with the hits and the number of comments you’ve recieved.
All I can see here is a bunch of people picking sides, and pointing fingers.
The instigater being Shari.
Please before you point the finger look at your hand and check at how many are pointing back at yourself – and then and only then if you are pure as snow, clear without fault, never done anything wrong, goody as goody 2 shoes gets – then and only then feel free to point away.
We all have faults and they don’t need to be picked up and pointed out just to elevate yourself (and get hits to your site and count your comments.)
This is a good reminder to all of us in blogging & twitter land – what we write is public – very public – if you aren’t going to shout if from the mountain tops or say it to someones face – best you don’t say it at all.
And yes, if I knew you IRL – I would say this to your face.
xx
This was not a cheap attempt to increase hits or comments – this was actually a very nerve-wracking post for me to write, one I took a long time to put together.
I questioned myself writing it, I ummmed and ahhhhed before hitting publish, but the strong feeling I had was that this was an important post to write. I knew that it would be controversial, but felt that the message was important enough to feel this fear and do it anyway.
I have not made a claim anywhere that I am not guilty of ever judging another human being, of course I have! It’s a work in progress. I have made clear my intention that through writing this post as a way of reminding others to walk the walk, it has reiterated the same message to me.
There are some very thoughtful discussions and points raised in the comments sections and the ones that make me most happy are when people have written – thanks for this timely reminder – I am going to be mindful of doing this in the future.
That was my intention. The beauty of social media is you CAN get your message across and if I had the forum to do it verbally, I would.
Sharni, I do believe your intentions were good. Truly I do.
I just don’t think you know how it feels to see your name and your words on someone else’s blog, and them judging you for it. If you knew how that felt, you wouldn’t do it.
I’m all for any kinds of comments on my own blog, I put it out there, you say what you like to me at my place where everything is in context and most readers know me and have a general feel for what I’m all about.
Your point was a very valid one.
My issue is you using names of people without their prior knowledge.
That’s all.
I do wish you well.
I used links because I wanted to give some integrity to my argument by having examples.Bloggers such as Mia Freedman do this all the time, it is the essence of bloggin. Without examples to illustrate my point, I would have no point.
Writing on the World Wide Web leaves us all vulnerable to this, myself included. I do know what it feels like to have others commenting about you because I see it happening now! I was prepared for the possibility.
I guess my response to that is if you can’t handle the heat get outta the kitchen!
if this is your calling in life, a need to have to right other peoples wrongs – perhaps next time it would be wise to contact the concerned people that you communicate with on twitter or thru their blogs – before deciding to publish their names.
“The beauty of social media is you CAN get your message across and if I had the forum to do it verbally, I would. ”
This blog post is the down side of social media if …
“…the grass isn’t greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it…” this is how you water your grass.
Thanks for your tips, perhaps I will contact them next time – we learn as we go.
I’m new to blog land. I participated in Blogger Without Make-up Day, even though I don’t wear make-up ANY day, it did mean something to me. It’s what my husband has been telling me since I met him ‘You don’t need the stuff. You’re beautiful without it.’ I’ve spent a lot of years trying to be happy and comfortable with the person I am, both inside and out, I worry about what others think of me for this reason – in high school I was judged cruelly on the way I looked and how my family lived. It was horrible. I am almost in tears thinking about it again now. Nobody should ever be subjected to it. It whittled away at my confidence over many years and still does. Even more recently I have been judged on my appearance. Because I have a different body shape to what some people are used to and they seem to be… offended almost, by it. Like there has to be something wrong with me because of it. I felt the power of the BWM movement.
Yet blog land does feel like high school in some respects. When I started I never expected to have people ‘follow’ me that I didn’t know. I started it to keep family in the loop and I don’t feel the need to comment on others to make a post. I try to keep it about me. What’s going on. What we’re doing. Some photos here and there – me trying to be all photographer like. If I can’t think of anything family related to post I don’t post. I’m sure those that follow me are bored by my blog, and they should not feel compelled to stay there if that’s the case. It really doesn’t bother me either way.
Well done on a brave post and speaking your mind. ‘Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity.’ – Colin Powell
Thanks very much Erin.
Perhaps before you start advising people to “move on from Year 9 gossiping” you should practice what you preach?
Honestly, what were you hoping to achieve by linking to these women, posting what they wrote (without their permission I’m guessing) is hardly constructive.
How would you feel if I posted what you wrote on my blog and called YOU hypocritical for this post asking where YOUR integrity is in targeting a post that was in jest.
Did you approach Taryn first before you wrote this post?
Did you raise the reasons why you were troubled with this?
I don’t mean in the comments, if you felt so strongly about what was written, why didn’t you seek out alternative communications with Taryn before trying to tarnish her name?
Because that’s what you’ve done…or at least trying to do.
You’ve linked to her blog for your readers to go and read the post.
You’re encouraging judgement from your readers, who do not know Taryn well enough to know that the post in question was in jest.
I’m almost 100% sure that you could go through my blog and find some sort of judgement in one of my entries. I’m pretty sure I could go through my whole google reader and find at least 20 blogs with some sort of judgement! Who gave you the right to point the finger?
I find your post hypocritical.
You have judged another woman, linked to another blogger, picked apart her post and targeted bloggers comments.
And you have done this all in judgement.
Who’s the one in year 9 now?
I have taken the time to read the posts on all blogs concerned.
It has been niggling at me since I first noticed this post on Twitter.
I took part in Bloggers without Makeup.
I also read the post that joked about high waisted pants.
Which post offended me most?
The self righteous one bleating on about “integrity”.
Sharni, are you bored? Do you write this vindictive shit to alleviate tedium in your day?
Or is it a case of sour grapes that Bloggers without Makeup was a great success and you perhaps, with all your “integrity”, wish you has thought of it first?
Or is your post a way of getting some limelight swivelled back to yourself? Feeling a little insecure?
The twittering of surrounding this post and how “brave” you are is hilarious, as are your mostly sycophantic followers.
(Idle Dad….yours is gold. Thank you!)
Sharni, I won’t be back, obviously.
But we will meet again, I’m sure: in a few months, when you are bored and insecure, you may happen upon my blog (which is vapid and would give you lots to snipe about and be “authentic” about!) Pluck stuff from it to create a post to generate some cheap hits…..go on. Show me your “integrity”.
Sass & Brittany – most of your questions have already been answered earlier. I’m sorry that you guys missed the point of my post. You can’t please all of the people all of the time.
Well said How R ya? How R ya? :):):)
xox
Well done Sharni, for taking a stance for what you believe in. Anyone who read this post (and anything else on the site) knows this isn’t about ego, or “limelight” as the above commenter seems to think (maybe she wants a bit for herself?)
Hypocrisy is something we are all guilty of at some time or another, as you’ve stated yourself, but if nobody reminds us of this flaw, how are we to start to learning rectify it?
Thanks Sharni, for reminding me not to be scared to stand up for what I believe in, even if I’m worried about the reaction.
I have a voice, and I have a right to use it.
Wow….what a ‘debate’..Opinions are like bums, everyone has one.
Continue to express yours Sharni.
Never be afraid to bring into the open what you feel is wrong.
If it wasn’t for difference of opinions there would be no such thing as horse racing…
You go girl, tell em how it is!!!!!!
Good on you Sharni!
An important topic really – only just the other day on TV they were commenting that women actually put more pressure on each other to look good than men do. Immediately after that segment they had a worse dressed/best dressed Logies panel. Hmmm so it’s everywhere really. I guess if we are able to take in a reminder that maybe our comments no matter how light still contribute to this pressure.
Certainly kicked me in the butt as a reminder! Thanks Sharni!
Now I’m off to put my “lippy on” because my mum always told me to and it would make me feel better! And you know what….it does!
Hi Sharni, interesting discussion here. I’d like to begin by saying that I think we are all complex creatures. We all contain within us both judgment and generosity, criticism and boundless compassion. When we, as writers, share our thoughts with the world (even the small world of our limited readership), those thoughts carry weight and have an effect. What I so loved about Bloggers Without Makeup was that it was a movement that elicited from us an effect that touched on the higher end of that spectrum. It brought out our confidence and comraderie and generosity of spirit. Some posts have the opposite effect. I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect that we will always be at the top of our game, writing posts that inspire, unite, uplift. We are merely human, right? Some days we are inspired and our words are full of hope and other days, when we have been buffeted about by life, we use our blogs to vent. We trust that our readers will accept us as we write across this wide and often contradictory spectrum. xo
Kudos to you Kristin for making your argument clear and skipping the name calling and drama.
I think you make a good point. In fact, one of the best on here.
Oh, thank you, Kristin. This articulates exactly what I feel on the topic. Beautifully said.
I couldn’t agree more Kristin. Beautifully said.
There are a few nasty comments here and many more thoughtful intelligent respectful ones. I know which type I would rather have archived with my name attached for posterity in the National Library – PANDORA. A lot of the stuff we write is around for a long time, so it makes sense to think before you pen something disrespectful or nasty. It might help to ask yourself- is this the way I want to be remembered?
LOL Heather. Got props on yourself?
To be selected for archiving in PANDORA, a significant proportion of a work should:
be about Australia ; or
be on a subject of social, political, cultural, religious, scientific or economic significance and relevance to Australia and be written by an Australian author; or
be written by an Australian of recognised authority and constitute a contribution to international knowledge.
Which part of the PANDORA selection criteria does this blog qualify?
Dear Idle Dad,
You will have to take that up with the National Library of Australia – they selected not only this website, but also the Chronicles of Sharnia for preservation. It makes me even happier to see that your comment here is going down in history.
The Sheriff :-)
Oh SNAP Sharni!
Love it! Put this down for prosperity too!
Links to National Library.
http://catalogue.nla.gov.au/Record/4808375
Well done Sharnanigans…What a recognition..
Oh for goodness sake, if you can’t listen to other points of view, really what am I doing here?
My last point for Sharni and her cult followers…
Don’t mistake spirituality for self-righteousness.
That’s it, I’m unsubscribing, I’m never coming back here. That’s a promise.
Go on, breathe a sigh of relief.
Now, the world don’t move to the beat of just one drum,
What might be right for you, may not be right for some.
A man is born, he’s a man of means.
Then along come two, they got nothing but their jeans.
But they got, Diff’rent Strokes.
It takes, Diff’rent Strokes.
It takes, Diff’rent Strokes to move the world.
Everybody’s got a special kind of story
Everybody finds a way to shine,
It don’t matter that you got not alot
So what,
They’ll have theirs, and you’ll have yours, and I’ll have mine.
And together we’ll be fine….
Because it takes, Diff’rent Strokes to move the world.
Yes it does.
It takes, Diff’rent Strokes to move the world.
RIP Gary Coleman
RIP Thea’s subscription
RIP Comments to Blogging Without Integrity – thanks for all who took part in this animated discussion.
Sharni, you rock (and it’s not just because of your name)!
You’re super super brave for posting this. I guess comments are off now but on the odd chance you get this — well done!