Photophobia

One of my oldest school mates, Kathryn, was in town today with her camera.

Kathryn has recently discovered that she is passionate about photography and offered to take some pics of Monte and Cowboy and I while she was here.

Pretty nice of her really.

I love seeing someone who has just discovered a passion.

You can just see it in her eyes and feel it in her energy – that she is a girl that lies awake at night dreaming up places for her next photo shoot.

Kathryn's Creations - example of her photography, this is my good friend Ailsa with her son Oliver and newly hatched Ruby!

The feeling of loving something so much it keeps the cogs rolling when they should be resting, it is exhilarating and exhausting at once.

This was written all over Kathryn’s face as we sat over coffee with her camera at the ready this morning.

I was excited about Monte being photographed by her, but I’ll be honest,  the thought of being photographed filled me with fear.

This is a fear that can be  irrationally traced back to School Photo time at school.

After Year Seven’s boy haircut, I just never returned to have mine taken.

Go figure.

To this day even though I am now a 31 year old hip and happening woman with shoulder length hair (I’m writing this OK?!) I am just NOT comfortable in front of a camera unless I have had 1000 wines!

This was just not appropriate at 10am this morning at the park with my son, though I did entertain the possibility for just a second.

Instead of alcohol this morning, I decided that my new jacket might be the boost I required.

On a recent trip to Wagga with Cowboy during an inappropriate burst of retail therapy Cowboy purchased me THE most gorgeous coat you will EVER see.

Truly, when I walked into this shop it spoke to me, in dulcet tones, it said ” I belong on your body, I am an extension of you Sharni, buy me, damn it, buy me now”

Who was I to argue with the jacket?

I relayed the message to Cowboy.

In no uncertain terms we agreed I had to try it on.

I tried it on.

He could not argue the point once I slipped the jacket on.

“It is you” he said.

“I know” I said.

I just knew.

It was mine.

Fast forward to today:

Though Autumn in these parts we have had some cold days, today was not one of them.

Regardless, the only way I would cope with the rising fear of the photo shoot was to  slip into this jacket.

I am convinced it has special powers.

The ability to give me the edginess, prettiness and downright uniqueness that it exuded.

I used to have this weird superstition that if I wore an item that belonged to a friend I would then take on some of their characteristics. I remember asking one of my dearest most charismatic friends years back if I could wear her jacket to a job interview for this reason.

It worked.

So today, I slipped on my new jacket.

It just made me feel wonderful.

I whispered to it in my best dulcet tone (enjoying the word dulcet, humor me)

“Please help me work my inner and outer beauty today, I hate having my photo taken – rub a bit of your edge off on me, would you?”

I have to report, I was stinking hot in the jacket and while Kathryn photographed me with Monte and Cowboy the jacket just did not live up to it’s end of the bargain.

The unnatural thing started happening, self consciousness set in, and I just could not relax in front of the damn camera.

I don’t even have boy’s hair anymore damn it!

So…. now I wait…… I am sure Kathryn captured some beautiful photos of Monte and Cowboy. She snapped away in some pretty scenic OHT locations.

I just can’t wait to see the ones she took of Monte and Cowboy… but mine I can wait.

I do not mean to appear some self-esteem lacking, tail between my legs sad sack, truly I do not, and I am not,  but put a camera in front of me and expect me to act natural or smile beautifully and you will be sorely disappointed.

Here’s hoping for some miracles Kathryn. Though if anyone can perform one it is you!

You can check out Kathryn’s work here and I will be sure to showcase some of them shortly, stay tuned!