A sneaky photo taken of pregnant me reading "What to expect when you are expecting"
When I was pregnant, I did not let anyone take a photo of me.
I felt fat and ugly and fat and ugly.
I wasn’t one of those beauties who had a big belly with toned arms and legs, a mane of swishy hair and luxurious skin.
Oh no.
Every part of me was blown up like one of those puffy fishes and I loathed the look of myself so much it overtook the beauty of what was happening.
GEEZ!
I regret that.
Before having Monte my perspective about what was important was completely around the wrong way. I was just another girl preoccupied with looks, image, blah blah blah.
Looking back it is really sad to me that such a beautiful event of being pregnant with my first child was not fully appreciated.
I was so self-conscious and despaired that I was less like a pregnant Heidi Klum and more like OctoMum but with only one child.
It feels so shallow, in hindsight to let image and looks even come into it , but hey it was my journey – and sadly the media doesn’t do much to help. YUMMY MUMMIES anyone? (puh-lease)
I guess the pregnancy wasn’t planned so the whole “OMG WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME” thing never really went away.
Since I hadn’t made the conscious decision to become a Mother I felt uncomfortable and self-conscious for the entire ride.
I think back now and see the odd two or three photos that someone sneakily got away with and I wish I had of captured those memories more.
I wish I could turn back time and appreciate how amazing the whole process was instead of feeling the way I did.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but God damn it I grew a child and I should have been working it!
If you are pregnant now while reading this let me tell you loud and clear. Don’t make the mistake I made.
No matter if your ankles swell up to the size of your head, you cannot recognise your face anymore and you haven’t seen your knees in months:
LOVE IT, BE MESMERISED BY IT!
You have invented your very own human being.
BE WITH THAT AND THAT ONLY.
And be proud.
11 Comments
You can always embrace it with the next one. ;) Can we expect a Demi Moore Vanit Fair style shoot in the future? Ha ha, only stirring.
be careful what you wish for hahaha
OMG girl you are speaking to me!! I am totally reposting this link on my facebook page and twitter right now!!!!!! My pregnancy was also not planned so I completely relate to all of this, however I am kinda cool with the whole weight gain (and I am the same, no Heidi Klum pregnancy for me). I am 6 months and tonight the waitress at the restaurant said to me, my unborn son must be going to be a heifer. WTF!!!
Loving that I have discovered your blog!
Heifer??? I have a tip for that waitress and it is not in the form of money if you know what I’m sayin’!!!
Thanks for reposting!
I felt exactly the same way and to go with it I was 19 self-concious and devastated that I could be so stupid!!!!!!!! My beautiful boy is now nearly 10 and i wish I had embraced the moment and believed that what I was doing is a natural wonder of the world which it is. I am a big believer that every mother needs to be supported and embraced and it is truly the hardest job any of us have. To that waitress WTF you wait karma is a bitch ………
Loving your blog xo
thanks Nikki, ah hindsight is a wonderful thing isn’t it!!
Hi,
I am currently 6 months pregnant and yesterday had an attack of the “fat and uglies”, as i like to call it. I am nervous about what I will look like 3 months from now because I already feel huge! So this post was very reassuring for me. Thanks Sharni! I am going to make more of an effort to just go with it and enjoy the changes in my body. I do feel proud to be an almost mama, and am very excited about the baby’s impending arrival, so that is what I’m going to focus on. It can be a tough ride emotionally though. I guess it forces us to look deeper than appearances which can only be a good thing.
I felt exactly the same at 6 months, it didn’t help when my doctor said i had put on enough weight for the whole pregnancy already and still had months to go. what a bastard. none of it matters at all, honestly. Enjoy and thanks for your comment Louise!!!
OMG Sharni are well like soul mates or WHAT??? That is exactly what happened to me!!! Doc told me to start exercising or else as my weight had reached it’s limit and I was only 5 months LOL. Speaking to friends who had already been there done that, I discovered NONE of them had stayed within the ‘expected’ weight gain range and if I do say so myself, I’ve got some pretty hot friends, who’ve done alright ;) So they, and you, give me alot more confidence to know it’s ok. Plus my beautiful husband reminded me last night, that underweight mothers, create underweight unhealthy babies, and that is what counts eh. Worry about the weight loss later ;) STILL loving this post!!!!
ahh.. I embraced my pregnancy, didn’t bother me till now – 36 weeks! Itchy hands and feet, heartburn plus husband looking at me with sorrow in his eyes – “obviously you’re going to have a girl”… and “you’re not looking very well, but it’s not your fault”. I’m plotting some nasty revenge.
wow. just want I needed to read right now, 18 weeks pregnant and sad I feel fat, thank you THANK YOU THANK YOU!
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