Today I went for a jog.
I felt alone. Like I was missing something. And I was.
I was missing the purpose of my jog, the purpose I have had for many weeks now. The sense of comraderie, support, connectedness and sisterhood that I felt with every step.
Today this was all done and dusted and I realised that what got me through my challenge  was the community that was behind me.
The challenge now, my friends, is for me to step up to the world of fitness and daily activity with only my soul as my witness! (and a few zillion flies.)
Only me to look after, me to motivate me- me to achieve something for.
Why does this feel so hard? Why do I feel nervous? Why did I feel like I might break into tears?!
I’ll tell you why.
The  childish  thinking process that dwells within  reared his ugly head up this morning to announce “Meh, you did it, don’t worry about going today”
I continued.
If I have learned anything from my journey it is to give little or no credibility to that naive little voice in my head that doesn’t ever want to see me out of the comfort zone.
Instead, I took my scared little voice for a jog. Without the support and purpose that I have been feeling, it’s presence was more obvious.
But.
I had a huge sense that I was so much stronger in identifying the voice for what it was and jogged on in spite of it.
A personal victory, bigtime.
We are so much bigger than our thoughts.
Us humans sometimes give so much power to our thoughts, confusing them as reality. Really. No two thoughts could ever be the same, so why would we ever be arrogant enough to think that our twisted little voices could possibly be the gospel?
So today as I went out jogging, Â thoughts consumed with reasons for me to become a non-running type again I laughed in their faces.
Until my next goal becomes clear , I am going to continue running daily, strictly taking directions only from the heart.
I am hoping that sooner rather than later that little voice of mine will work out who is boss and either change it’s tune or totter off into the mind of somebody who cares!
8 Comments
How about joining Michelle Bridges 12 week challenge? it starts in Feb, and you can continue jogging until then, keeping that as your goal to get to 8km, or whatever other distance you think is going to make you stretch?
Can you tell me more about it Tash? Is there a link? Does it cost? Thanks lovely x
Tell that little voice to buzz off (and the flies too!).
Sharni,
KEEP ON RUNNING!
Since I started my little fitness crusade I went from exercise procrastinator to not feeling like my day had been lived properly without doing a work out DVD or going for a run…. I do take days off but my mind set has totally changed…as has my arse.
Go you. Next challenge 10km
I CHALLENGE YOU!
There you go.
Ha thanks Aleisha!!! I am picking up what you are putting down and it is not over! It is only the beginning , and I have already gone and lost my mind! stay tuned x
Give it a year, Sharni. If you are not totally into running by then, you are meant for another kind of exercise. Me? After a year of 5 and 10Ks I realized the only thing I liked about running was stopping. I switched over to bicycling and swimming. Love the swimming because I never get hot. Still, I have lots of runner friends who get the runners’ high, and are hooked for life.
Good luck!
Beautifully written. This is hard one, Sharni. It’s hard to keep going when no one else is watching or cheering you on. It is true. When we have tremendous support, it’s easier to go after our goals, but eventually we have to turn inward and see that all the support we need is inside, under our clouded thoughts. When I came to the end of 365 Lessons, I felt this. Now I’m all alone pounding out my book on my computer. It’s hard and isolating, but I soldier on. I think the biggest achievement is when we can do something for ourselves without anyone watching! Peace to you my friend
Hi Sharni,
As I said the other day, “Your brain is stupid, it is a tangle of single tracks bedded down in comfort some time ago”. Do not listen to your brain. Listen instead to the sound of one foot in front of another as you trip lightly over all the stupid things your brain has ever told you and then kick all the self defeating thoughts to the kerb where they belong and trample them into the hardened earth as you chase new horizons and a new dress size. xx