I was reading a post on Mamamia yesterday about BOTOX and FILLERS.
The article left me feeling annoyed.
I am disappointed that Mia Freedman, who writes and speaks often, but perhaps not convincingly about positive body image for women and girls didn’t make a strong case against poisoning and paralysing our faces in the name of so-called ‘beauty’, in fact she says she might go there herself.
After re-reading her article it seems her only beef with it was that people didn’t always admit to it!
At the start of her article she says:
“It’s not just Botox. Paralysing facial muscles with botulism is no longer enough. Now you must also inject fat “fillers” into lines, wrinkles and any bastard area on your face that dares lose its youthful plumpness. Even if you’re only in your thirties. Or twenties.
Off to a good start, here you get the vibe that she thinks the trend is crazy and ridiculous, right?
For some women, fat reconfiguration is virtually a fulltime job. If they’re not trying to strip it off their body, they’re sticking it into their face.
More vibe that it is indeed ridiculous…
But here’s the worrying bit: if so many women are getting regularly jabbed but so few admitting it, how can we trust what we see on the red carpet? Or in real life?”
Is that really the worrying bit? That we can’t trust what we see on the Red Carpet or in Real Life?
To me the worrying part is that people feel they need to inject POISON into their faces AT ALL!
Every now and then I get on my Mamamia Soapbox, concerning issues that are supposedly written with female interest at heart, but scream of hypocrisy!
I feel compelled to write about this because it frightens me, on many levels.
I need to know there are women out there who feel the same! But, I welcome your debate!
I am terrified about the messages society is sending about ‘supposed’ beauty and the lengths people are going to in order to obtain it.
Where does it end? Do people actually reach a point where they think “Ah, there it is, I am beautiful now”?
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I worry myself in moments where I look in the mirror and curse myself for having a wrinkle, or wishing I looked younger.
I usually (but not always) catch myself and realise it is merely the powerful world of advertising and the media and it’s definition of beauty trying to sell me something, and put it out of my mind.
IT IS NOT FACT.
My beauty is not defined by how many wrinkles I have
or the thickness of my bottom lip!
I cannot believe that injecting fat into faces and needles that paralyse could possibly become in trend!
It is spooky, creepy and horror movie-esque.
Mia is an advocate for Positive Body Image, often writing and speaking about the use of photoshop in magazines and the importance of using different sized models.
It is my understanding she does this because she’d like to use her influence to positively impact women and girls.
With that in mind I felt surprised and let down with her closing comments:
It’s not my wish to demonise anyone for doing anything to their face. (Mine either, but it is my wish for them to really really think about the craziness of this trend and the message it sends to generations to follow and the unknown repercussions for using it later)I know dozens of women who’ve used injectibles (I do too and I love them for who they are not for how smooth their face is) , I certainly think no less of them and one day I may even go there myself. (Pardon? Is this the same Mia who urged everybody to spread the message about how advertising and the media affect women? )
It doesn’t make you a bad person (I don’t think so either), just a human one who’d like to see something different in the mirror. ( Is this the same Mia who is all about loving ourselves as we are? And something different in the mirror?! Why not put on a quirky hat, a feather boa, nah I know! Inject some poison in your face if you feel like a change, just to see something different! )
I am on my soapbox because nothing about this article helps promote positive body image in women. It is worrying when the biggest issue in this article about paralysing parts of your face to look pretty is that you need to be honest about it for the sisterhood.
I am concerned about who our role models are for Positive Body Image in this country.
How can one go on about the evils of retouching a model in a magazine and then express that she may retouch her own face with BOTOX or FILLERS?
They are as dishonest as each other! But at least with photoshop there is no paralysis or unknown side-effects to your health!
For this ghastly trend of BOTOX and FILLERS to be stopped in its poisonous tracks we need to be led by strong female role models who are not afraid to age naturally.
We need to show future generations that you don’t need to go to outrageous lengths to look a certain way. We need to take the emphasis of looks ,period!
According to Mia’s article the biggest issue with BOTOX and FILLERS is actually if we are being lied to about who is using it.
I would have thought the biggest issue about the use of BOTOX and FILLERS was that it is becoming so commonplace.
It appears people will go to frightening lengths on the endless and futile quest for the elusive holy grail: PERFECT PHYSICAL BEAUTY.
13 Comments
Sharni,
I discovered last christmas that my lovely niece has filled up her breasts.
She said she suffered too much for not having a “unbalanced” body…that’s not speaking about energies though…
She…like me, my mum have…and like my sister had…a big behind and very small breasts.
So in one way I understand her suffering but in an other I am SO sad about how a young (24 years) woman think she has to look like everyone else.
I am certainly not going to fill out nor breasts nor wrinkles.
This is me after 46 years of living…every pain and all the love is in all of me.
I have been thinking about writing something about this…and I think I will.
Thank you for your post!
I send you lots of good energy to fill your body and mind with!
I’m all me! But I try to just stay within my own integrity, that way when the persuasive media, talk, trends try to sway me, my voice to myself is LOUDER. Those messages are so strong and they are often implicit-it’s a war out there for younger and very young women who are still forming a firm idea of who they are.
I wondered whether to respond or not….because heck I respond to everything on Sharni’s site because I think she is thought provoking and inspiring.
I’m not against surgery, fillers blah blah but I’m against people who pretend that they haven’t done it and are natural, al la Nicole Kidman. Also a la Demi Moore and her 3 boob jobs that I can tell. If you have things that are bothering you, that you can’t change with good diet and exercise and you are willing to put up with the pain and possible side effects of surgery, by all means go ahead.
I don’t like the botox look. A few of my friends do it and it makes them look odd. I tried it once and it just gave me a headache and I never did it again.
But to be honest…to each her own. Everyone’s life is different and if you think a smooth forehead makes you happy…well…go for it.
Thanks Alex, I wrote this mainly because I felt it was irresponsible of Mia Freedman who is vocal in Positive Body Image to say she might go there, her influence is huge and I think we need people in her position to age naturally and be proud. Someone of influence needs to stand up and say you don’t find happiness on the end of a needle stuck in your face!
I’m with you Sharni. I read this article this morning over my beautiful bowl of fruit salad, having done a great workout, in the name of feeling good about myself. What that means is how I feel about me, not what I see in the mirror and definitely NOT what I see reflected in the bodies and faces of my fellow women.
I had a thought in response to that article. If we all simply just worked on our self esteem as it relates to ourselves and NOONE else, no woman in the world would need to worry about what others think of her, how she looks and what her body was like. And wouldn’t that indeed be a wonderful thing.
Amen Tash!
I always hate the (beautiful) women who swear they aren’t going to get anythign done. big deal. if you won the beauty lottery not having work done isn’t really saying anything. I want to see articles with really ugly people (or people who have aged really badly) who aren’t getting work done. They are heroes. But you won’t see that/them in a capitalist culture.
I stopped reading mamamia last year because a) I found her point of view annoying when she did dare to express it b) I felt the whole thing was contrived to increase the number of comments on her site c) I hate comments (ironically posting one now….).
Surely you realise by now that Mia’s ramblings aren’t about her actual opinion – they’re really just carefully constructed argument starters, designed to get her commenters to cover every angle of a topic.
She took several different positions during yesterdays post, and over the years her opinion of botox has changed considerably, perhaps because she is starting to see some signs of age on her own face and can no longer put her hands on her hips and say ‘botox is bad’ – secretly she is probably thinking that she probably needs a bit of a freshen up.
Mia’s opinions change so often and so quickly that if you read Mamamia for long enough you will end up with whiplash.
Her minions will tell you what a successful magazine editor she was (true) but this comes in direct contradiction to being a positive body image advocate. Magazines by their very nature are designed to make women want what they haven’t got, therefore feeling bad about themselves.
Mia can tout herself as anything she wants but a Positive Body Image Advocate she is not, never has been, never will be – she just doesn’t understand the very core of positive body image. I may have missed it but I don’t think she has held herself up as a Positive Body Image advocate for some time now, that in itself is interesting.
More interesting is the fact that she went for a quinella on her site yesterday, botox, sex, mothering and a football sex scandal – she must have been wringing her perfectly manicured hands together from high atop her ivory tower yesterday!
Well said, Chelsea!
This is a topic I’ve thought about a lot recently. Being the mother of two girls I have started to ponder what I really believe and feel about all this stuff.
First off, let me start by saying I have never done Botox/fillers/etc and never will. It’s not me. I’m happy to grow old and see each line on my face as a mark of love and laughter, but I know that I’m unusual in that.
I do understand what Mia was trying to say and the point she was trying to put across. That by lying and denying botox, etc. we are portraying to young girls that these women in their 40s have lineless faces simply because they “used sunsceen” and “avoided caffeine” or some other tripe. That this is “natural” beauty. Which is really dangerous.
It’s similar to the same starlets who say they had these ‘miracle’ births in their 40s and deny using fertility treatments, etc. It sends a message to young girls that they can wait and it will be easy to have a baby later in life. That lie (which is used constantly) really bothers me, but that’s another post.
My personal views on injectibles and are they right or wrong is more complex. I would love to say, I think they’re wrong and anyone who does them are mad. Everyone should just grow old gracefully. Which is kind of what I think, but am I being hypocritcal? I put poisonous bleach on my head to cover up grey hairs in the name of beauty and looking younger. I pour hot wax on my legs and rip the hair out by the root, in the name of beauty. Are these things any better? Am I being more true to the positive self image cause? I truly don’t know. I have had to stop and ask myself that, especially when my daughters look at me and ask why I’m doing that? My answers are pretty pathetic.
I personally think the line between extreme beauty and good grooming is really blurred. I wish I knew what the answer was.
I also think it’s too easy to blame the media and advertising. Sure, there is no doubt that they play a large role, but this ‘beauty’ thing has been going on a whole lot longer. Corsets, feet binding, mecury-filled face whiteners, African neck rings are just a few things that have tortured women in the name of beauty. So it’s definitely not a modern phenomenon.
Some great points Corinne. Thank-you.
I wonder what is more dangerous for young girls: if some glamorous Hollywood women pretend they ‘just have naturally good skin’ or if everyday women who represent positive body image admit that they might stick a needle in their face because they want to see something different in the mirror?
You are right, women throughout history have suffered for ‘beauty’. And you raise a great point re: how some of it gets accepted as norm, and others as outrageous perhaps BOTOX is just the next hair colouring/waxing, and soon we won’t (literally be able to) bat an eyelid about it.
I wonder who we are really doing it for?
Perhaps Van Morrison summed it up when he sang “All the girls walk by, dressed up for each other”.
Wouldn’t it be great if as Natasha said, we could all lead healthy lives, being the best at being our healthy selves that we can be without comparing or caring how we scrub up next to others. Where women were more commonly put on a pedestal for making the world a better place rather than looking 30 at 50
Agree with you 100%. I think that women do do it for each other. Without doubt.
I would love to see more articles about truly positive role models than whether or not Nicole Kidman has had Botox or not. Women who have achieved and succeeded.
Another thing that really bothers me is that as a SAHM there are days when I put on makeup, a pretty dress and style my hair. There are others where I go bare-faced and don’t put a brush through my hair. To be honest, I often feel just as confident without make up as I do with. It’s amazing though that I have had people say – ‘You need make up. You need good grooming. Or else you obviously don’t respect yourself.’
It’s possible that botox will soon fall into the ‘good grooming’ catergory…
And here I was thinking I am the only one who feels Mia is a big old hypocrite most of the time about positive body image and the like. It’s taken me years to accept that who I am now is just perfect. The media does not need to tell me who I have to be, and I don’t aspire to be what they want. Last year I lost some weight. I am a proud plus sized woman, but I wanted to be at a weight that was comfortable to me. I went from a 24 to an 18. Everyone commented on my loss and asked what my goal is. Most of the time I was made to feel like I am completely nuts when I answered “My goal size is a 16″. Oh my! a 16??!! Don’t you know that what you should be aiming for is to have the figure of a 12yo boy!? Will I have surgery to fix my sagging breasts and excess skin? Nope. AGHAST!
Screw that. I’m nearly 30, 6ft tall and I feel comfortable being who I want to be. Just because I challenge your idea of what I should be is not my problem, and I find it incredibly sad that women feel the need to want to be a clone, to be reach the impossible beauty that the media puts out there, and makes you feel ugly because you aren’t what they dictate (don’t get me started on the quality of plus sized clothing in the Australian Market). *hops off soapbox*
I applaud this post, and it’s sentiments, and I wish more women could hold the themselves to their own ideals, and not ones that are set out for them.