Simplicity Parenting

Juliette, a gorgeous friend I made while being a customer at her GREAT online bookshop Little Acorn Books contacted me to review a book of hers. I will also be giving away a copy very soon, so stay glued.

But if you can’t wait to see if you win, you can purchase it, or check it out in more detail – here

The book?

Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne,M.ED., with Lisa M Ross

Thanks so much Juliette for the opportunity to write about and giveaway this book, it has been very helpful and timely for my own situation and I hope that others readers might find so too!

I lapped it up.

Me lapping it up on my nana lounge and taking a very staged and strange photo of myself

This entire year, I have been enjoying, yet drowning in this parenting gig.  Always frazzled, busy, anxious and all the while battling with consumerism and pester power and Mother-guilt.

Sound familiar?

Reading this book was literally the teacher appearing when the student was ready. I have been craving SIMPLE parenting from myself, but always feeling too busy to attack it.

I know.

I have not felt completely in control as a Mother, as if the world had plotted against me (and all parents) who are leading busy lives and will do anything for a little peace and quiet.

In the back of my mind there has been a lingering guilt that this ‘peace and quiet” I craved was at the expense of helping Monte fulfil his needs.

This book makes you realise how children crave space, time and the opportunity to discover their worlds. All the “stuff” and “schedules” we think they need to have, and be on – are not necessary. In fact, the book suggests overloading our kids with things to play with and stuff to do is in fact overwhelming them and giving them less access to discovering who they are.

I knew that if I didn’t take some conscious steps now to be more in control of my parenting style, I would get in too deep in the ‘keeping up with the Jones” and quick fix solutions because I’m knackered instead of being conscious of what is best for Monte.

I am not on a crusade to become a complete Earth Mama who never flicks on the Tele so I can punch out a blogpost or what-not, but I am taking the reigns on many things that I think will help Monte regain a simpler, less anxious and overwhelmed childhood. As an anxious Mama I think there could be a ripple effect. That’s not a bad thing.

Whilst reading Simplicity Parenting, I have had many epiphanies and have decided to take on many of the suggestions.

Instead of reviewing the whole book in one go, I am going to show you over a few posts,  what I am doing to simplify things for Monte — the goal is for him to engage and not feel  overwhelmed by stuff – I am hoping this will also rub off on me! This is not completely selfless y’hear!

Simplification Project One: The Bedroom

I didn’t know it, but somewhere in the last 12 months Monte’s room had been invaded by plastic things.

I am not sure how they even got through customs, but one thing is for sure, they have been breeding like rabbits since they got here.

A big pile of STUFF gets pulled out and strewn everywhere, but there is far too much of it for Monte to engage with any of it.

Lately he has been having night terrors, waking up at around midnight screaming and going generally nuts for about an hour. It is awful to witness and his anxiety and stress fills me with the same things.

I am hoping that by simplifying his environment, combined with some other changes I will be introducing, he might feel a little more relaxed come the midnight hour.

Operation: Get back to Where You Came From

So, while Monte played in the backyard with his Dad – I waged war on CRAP. I was taking no prisoners.The garbage bags came out and I was ruthless in my mission.

In Simplicity Parenting the author suggests a bit of a strategy for determining what goes in the bin — plastic, broken things, things you have never seen your child play with, stuff that is an advertisement for something else, annoying things that entertain the child but leave no room for their imagination, stuff that annoys you as a parent – HERE IS YOUR CHANCE!

He also suggests that instead of having 103888 books to overwhelm your child with, or for them to flick through a couple of pages and then grab the next – just have a few there at a time, and put the rest away as a sort of library always ensuring the stock in the room is small.

The idea is for your child to engage with the books, the toys, that they have – and to have a decluttered environment where they can hear themselves think, and what comes to the surface once they are no longer innundated with STUFF???? I’m guessing the real child within.

Who knew? Our children have little personalities inside that are not based on, Cars, Fireman Sam, or Toy Story 3 (all of said Movies my Monte is obsessed with)

When I was a child I certainly wasn’t thrown in front of movies, well maybe a few,but aside from calling my cat “The Man From Snowy River” I don’t recall being the target of characters from movies and TV shows everywhere I went. While its OK in small doses, I could see a fixation starting to form here and want to nip it in the bud.

I don’t so much want to hear Monte reciting something from television, or copying what an entertaining toy says – I want to see what he’s got, oh and he’s got it.

He has more teddy bears than you can poke a stick at, so I kept the faves, and put the rest away.

He hasn’t even noticed any of this.

It was hard for me to pack everything up I might add, Motherguilt raised it’s head – but I swept it to the side convinced that simple is best.

Nude Cabbage Patch Dolls and Teddies with twisted heads, you have a place, in the cupboard never to come out again BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

So after dumping a couple of big garbage bags worth of jigsaw parts, but not quite enough to form a jigsaw, the invading toys from PlasticCity and other bits of rubbish that was broken, or annoying – a feeling of zen started to sweep the room.

I started to feel like this was now a bedroom where creativity, concentration on the task at hand, could be enjoyed.

Keepers: Kookie, Ele, Moo and Ahhh

Just a little touch

Simplified - a couple of his tractors, his paintings and a few of his favorite books, instead of every book ever written

Space! Clutter Free!

I invited Monte inside to “Come check out your room!”

First of all he said “Why have you moved my toybox?! Move it back!” and then in 2 seconds forgot and started pushing around a car in the newfound space.

He didn’t even notice that the Plastic Army had left.

He then went over to the little table and chair I had popped into a corner with some crayons and paper and started drawing.

I could feel his happiness of the new sense of order.

Then we went outside and he picked ALL of the non-ripe tomatoes from the vine. Oh well. That is the kind of play he should be engaging in I reckon.

More simplification to come…… I’ll let you know how it goes.

In the meantime you can watch this:

(You can “like” Little Acorn Books on Facebook by clicking here, Juliette has a great stock of books for the mindful parent, and her customer service is second to none. Oh and I will be giving away a copy of this book so stay with me)