A Letter To My 90 Year Old Self

A little while on my Sharnanigans Facebook page I asked readers for some help with ideas for blogging again. Susan Williams suggested I write a letter to my 90 year old self. This was a strange exercise, it kind’ve changed from what I’d say to my 90 year old self back to what I thought she might say to me.

Dear my 90 Year Old Self,

Wow, you made it to 90! I’m guessing you must have finally made some changes to your sugar addiction then eh?

How does your life look from where you are sitting?

I do hope that you are a content old lady, not one living with bitterness or regret. I am sure by now life has thrown you some heartache and loss, that I haven’t experienced much of while I write this letter to you.

I am sure by now you are not measuring your success by whether or not you managed to get a flat tummy again after becoming a Mum, in fact, I hope that those child/ren (??)  you raised so lovingly — are now there by your side, loving you right back.

I hope that you are still finding the humor in things, even when things become difficult. If there is one thing that has served me in life up until now (my 32nd year) it is that. Being able to laugh at yourself, accept yourself and the realisation that the grass isn’t greener on the other side….

You know the rest.

I hope you are still writing, and making sense of the world through it.

I hope you have beautiful grandchildren, perhaps great grandchildren.

This letter up til now has been a bit wishy washy, hasn’t it? A bit generalised, typical stuff you would say to your 90 year old self. Cliched even.

So I’m going to cut the crap and say what I really hope for you.

I really hope that you have finally learned to stop sabotaging yourself. I hope you learned to break free past all the conditioned thoughts that held you back. I hope you were able to change the records in your head that kept you at a certain level, when I know that you wanted to shoot for the stars. I know as you got older possibilities felt less possible – I hope you broke through this and realised that everything was possible.

I hope you still have Cowboy by your side after a long beautiful life together, I hope you have many beautiful life memories, wisdom from the hard times and the ability to laugh.

I hope that you did nurture that spiritual side of yours, wrote and wrote and wrote – and I really hope that one day, you were able to make your living out of writing.

I hope all these things for you.

And as I write it I realise, I have the power in my hands right now, to make these things a reality for you, for me – for us.

I can  begin now, to accept myself as I am and to love and appreciate what I am creating right now, will be a memory for you. And I am sure as you are sitting there reading this you are willing the 32 year old me “For God’s Sake! Stop Worrying and ENJOY!!!!! What you have is precious — you have NOTHING to worry about – go forth and live!”

I owe it to you, 90 year old me, to get on with it and be happy.

See you a lot later,

Sharni xx