I am writing a book.
I have been talking about that for approximately 33 years, or maybe even since I was in-utero. Today I sat down to write it and realised perhaps I have already written it.
You will understand eventually.
In doing so, something moved in me – a dash of hope, purpose and adrenaline reared it’s head. I smiled at this prospect. I then jumped ahead of myself and lamented “Oh I don’t know how to get something published, how to do any of that — ”
I just stopped myself and said “Girlfriend, stay in the present. Do the first thing first.”
So I can see the gun, but I’m not jumping over it.
I’m putting my book together. Step one – we can have lots of fun.
I will play each step as I am dealt it.
I have had enough living in tenses that I am not abiding in and letting them scare the non-literal pants off me.
I feel very grateful for many things and people today — a host of lovely people have come into my life lately and have showered me with things that I need on my journey.
I have been in shock over killing cats, panicking through meditation, and a general fear and anxiety about absolutely every bloody thing.
Today, I have started something and I am going to take it step by step.
If you notice me getting ahead of myself, or behind myself or anything but in this moment, you have permission to issue me a virtual slap across the cheek, but please issue a gentle one.
I’ve decided to give the guy at the bottom of the rollercoaster a couple of bucks to grant permission for the rollecoaster to continue.
Not , that I would ever , of course, Â step off and jump on something as boring as the cha-cha.
4 Comments
Awesome Sharni, now take a mo while I type this long gorgeous blurb to a book you MUST read (Anne Lamott – Bird by Bird)
“Thirty years ago my older brother who was 10 at the time, was trying to get a report on birds written that he’d had 3 months to write. It was due the next day. he was at the table, close to tears, surrounded by paper, pencils and unopened books on birds immobilised by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father sat down beside him, put his arm around my brothers shoulder and said “Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird”
Bird by bird Sharni, bird by bird.
oh how beautiful Lisa. My parents gave me some $ for my birthday for which a hole in my pocket is being burned… I might treat myself to this book!
Thankyou. Love that sentiment “bird by bird’
How wonderful :)
And how coincidental ;)
Sharni,
It’s crazy how many times we seem to be on the same path. My book is in progress, and I keep thinking about the next step, too. My touch-stone word for the year is “be’, just be here, in the moment. (If you are interested, SheWrite.com is a great support for writers.)