The Cruel Irony Of Sleep (Happy Mother’s Day!)

Lying in bed today, and not getting up. I am really disappointed that it is not all bliss and tranquility that I had idealised such a day would be.

For starters, I don’t really actually want to be in here, it’s making me anxious and I have cabin-fever. However, I refuse to get up for fear I will then have to give up my being waited on rights.

So hear I lie, just cos I can and flick through my Facebook newsfeed and feeling the wave of Mothers Day sweep over me while Timmet inside kicks me excitedly so as to constantly remind me that YES YOU ARE A MOTHER and YOU WILL NEVER BE ALONE AGAIN (mwahahahahaha) !

And this is lovely and frightening and I force myself to enjoy being in bed – ENJOY it. Sleep in it! Don’t worry about housework (I am sure there is something in hormones that makes this happen by the way, because it never used to bother me)

But alas, I cannot sleep – and I cannot just lie here, my mind prepares to-do lists and I read blogs and I think, think, think – when I should be just….. swanning…… from pillow to pillow.

Once upon a time, I had a gift for bed.

I remember getting up at 7pm once for dinner. Then going back to the boudoir. Upon waking the next day I wasn’t sure what day it was, or what meal I was due for – and feeling tired because I had slept too much.

Sad really.

But equally as sad is that Motherhood seems to have robbed me of this gift, a gift I long for but seem to no longer have at my disposal.

Perhaps Timmet will help me find it again, and at the same time she will rob me of the chance to partake in it.

Oh it’s a cruel world.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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One Comment

  1. Posted 14 May at 4:01 pm | Permalink

    Yesterday, I exchanged stories with two daughters about mother’s days gone awry. Cold toast, soggy cereal in bed and crumbs to sweep up. Broken lilac bushes, stained Sunday dresses, and trying hard to see the love through all the mess.

    I hope you feel loved and appreciated. It’s sometimes difficult in spite of the best intentions.

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